STOP

It seems like we just got home and now are packing to back to the hospital. There are a few things I despise and most have to do with clothing.

(washing, drying, packing, ESPESCIALLY unpacking, buying, fitting, shopping for.)

It is 245pm and I got word that Ashton has his bone marrow aspiration #2 tomorrow. That does not scare either of us. What is frightening is that we could be called in for inpatient that day or the next, or the next, or the next. So, rather than it being a fire drill after said aspiration, I created my own fire drill today.

I keep a pretty clean house ( except for laundry). And I can pack for myself in 15 minutes. Ashton needs food every 20 minutes and I am NOT exaggerating for those of you who know that I may TEND to do that. So, I am scrubbing the tub with a toxic chemical so he can have his sitz bath and then making sure there are no TOXIC chemicals in the tub when he says I AM HUNGRY. OR, I see a FLY?! Meanwhile, I have thrown bathing in general by the wayside and resemble the Missing Link on a good day.

 

I threw the flyswatter. I yelled out an very fond expletive and threw a too small suitcase and sat down to vent here.

I smell.

We will find out tomorrow if he is admitted on Friday or Monday for Round Two. I do not know why, but I cannot bear it. I mean, I know I CAN, because he does.

There are so many family things occurring that I want to shout out and say YEEEAH!. There are so many family things I want to piss on. ( Sorry)

I am in serious need of support because I do NOT want to go in there another month and I do NOT want to see him there another month, vomiting and fevers and hooked up to Beeper.

He is honestly so brave. I am NOT. I know I will live. I’m just kinda losing it today. #don’twannagoback #universeGodpleasecurehisblood