A little increment closer to getting life back in to MY life. Closer to being able to cry. I’m still very scattered. My belongings are in Ohio. Everything ASHTON is here with me. I have a bit of money in Kentucky from my deposit on the house being returned (coming here soon, I hope). I had … [Read more…]

Robot Mom

I suppose it’s a pretty good thing I don’t have a gun. I can’t feel anything for more than a split second. I would gladly shoot myself in the leg in order to create a feeling. Where did guttural, howling Mom go? She was here only a couple of weeks ago. She was a disaster. … [Read more…]


I was going to say this is proof there is no God. But, now, I hope there is one.  


Ashton Tyler Carley Trent passed on November 11, 2014 after fighting a war most grown men would have lost months ago. He left this world with great dignity and left an indelible mark on everyone he came across. He passed in to the great universe while held in my arms.   Barns. Barns with snow … [Read more…]

St. Juliana Falconieri (1270-1371)

The Patron Saint of Chronic Illness Juliana Falconieri grew up among saints. Her uncle, St. Alexis Falconieri, was one of the seven founders of the Servite order. The priest who taught her as a child and acted as her spiritual director was St. Philip Benizi, one of the early superiors of the Servites. Inspired by … [Read more…]


  The Novalung Interventional Lung Assist (iLA) device is a ventilator that allows for oxygen and carbon dioxide gas exchange to occur by simple diffusion. It has been used in patients with severe acute lung failure due to severe pneumonia. It potentially helps reduce Ashton’s chance of going on the oscillator. Essentially, his vent has … [Read more…]


Lung fallen. I associate leukemia with blood, not lungs. Well, he does not have leukemia right at this very moment in time. Thank you, anonymous bone marrow donor guy. No offense, bone marrow guy, but your cells are not really hitting it off with my guy. I know, I know, it was a blind date without even a … [Read more…]

Forever Haunted

By a beeping pole. I can have a nurse in here for four hours and the very microsecond she or he leaves the room, that damned thing starts beeping. The Russion was in here yesterday, Demitri, the doctor…but they all have nicknames, trust me. I have never seen him smile or (GOD FORBID!) laugh. Both … [Read more…]