The Wind and The Sun

” Mom! I feel the air!” He’s not allowed to feel the sun, yet. But the air! Man, we rolled those windows down and warm air rushed him and he was smiling. He was looking. He was feeling. The air outside is clean. O’ to be away from the hospital germs! I just want to … [Read more…]

A Bit of Perspective

It was an unusual day. I have not seen my youngest child have a terror like this since our early days in the hospital. It was 4am and both he and I were jolted to our nonsenses by needles and screams and blood and “soothing voices.” Sounds like a horror flick. Welcome to pediatric oncology. … [Read more…]

No Creativity Needed

You could NOT make this up. This is just happening. John Grisham wrote lawyer novels because that’s what he knew. Jodi Picoult writes stuff about the human condition, which is what she remains in touch with. I’m in touch with a blinking pole. If I knew for sure these windows would break, this damn thing … [Read more…]

28 Days

If Ashton were merely an addict, we would have been sprung today. This brings to mind Lot of Stuff. Lots of stuff I have contemplated over many years. What is disease?     Let’s leave that one hanging for a second.     I may have just opened a can of worms. There is no cure for … [Read more…]

Well, We Keep On.

Last night was a “good night”. Fever all night, however, it was comparatively low-grade. 105- 106 being a norm, we had more of a 102 grade controlled with Tylenol and a cooling blanket. The cooling blanket is pretty COOL. It’s a loud contraption with cold water running through it and I laid on it half … [Read more…]

Specialist: Because he is special

After many, many days of fever above boiling point 105 and higher…cooling blanket, Tylenol, one of our main doctors admits to being a bit puzzled, as we all are. I am not certain there is an antibiotic left on the market. Though< I would not be the one to ask.  He is getting blood right now. It … [Read more…]

A NEW Place

I have two new places. One: I went home last night. It was all NEW. I couldn’t find anything. I was dismayed. I could not order dinner and have a very sweet  Russian woman deliver it and then return to take away the dishes. I focused on normality. I went to that strange place called,  … [Read more…]

Chocolate Bunnies and Platelets

The Easter Bunny came super freakin’ early, man. Our room is so full, we had a hard time finding the basket he/she left for Ashton. ( IS the Bunny a he or a she? Does it matter?) Good Lord, I need some sleep and relief from these four walls. Ashton has been using the computer … [Read more…]

A Brave New Boy

Ashton got his first CT Scan at about 11pm last night. He had to be repeatedly awakened to swallow a contrast drink before the scan. All I know is that is tasted grapish and he was a very good sport. He also got an intravenous contrast and had to hold his breath on cue and … [Read more…]

A Good Day

April 17 is my favorite day of the year. Not because I love birthdays. After turning 40, I really don’t have much use for the birthdays. However, my whole life, having grown up in NM, April generally marks Spring. Everyone starts wearing shorts and people just seem smiley(er). In Chicago the last 15 years, one learns … [Read more…]