Is it hot in here or is it just Ashton? Yeah. We finally tipped over in to sick mode. Not as bad as last time, but he “flirts with fever” and then spikes it over the net right when it’s my turn to go home for a night. Therefore, I feel sufficiently guilty. After all, … [Read more…]

Party in The Playroom

Dr. Dole (pronounced Doh-lay) gave Ashton a hall pass yesterday. As he looks and feels remarkably well, my mom took him outside, which is actually better than inside ANYWHERE in a hospital, if you ask me. She call and asked me to look out the window and wave. There was Ashton running down the sidewalk … [Read more…]

Earnesty and Ellen Degenerous

You can’t get angry with a bald kid with Cancer in leg restraints. Well, I guess you can if they throw their milk at you. And if you retaliate by throwing the milk back? Well, you are immediately taken from the running of Mom-Of -The-Year.  I have seen it happen, and I wont say it was … [Read more…]


Absolute neutrophil count (ANC) is a measure of the number of neutrophil granulocytes[1] (also known as polymorphonuclear cells, PMN’s, polys, granulocytes, segmented neutrophils or segs) present in the blood. Neutrophils are a type of white blood cell that fights against infection. The ANC is calculated from measurements of the total number of white blood cells, … [Read more…]

News From The Couch

  Yes, I got to go come home last night and my eyes are burning because I still wake up at five o’clock regardless. I sleep on the couch because both my head and my heart know it’s only temporary. Nonni stayed with Ashton last night and it’s a good thing. I got to leave … [Read more…]


Some people seem to understand my need to keep the door open. We need to keep the door open as long as possible. We are expecting the ANC to start dropping as this morning was the last chemo for round two. Soon, we will be bound to the room and the bed. Ashton fell twice … [Read more…]

An Open Letter

Dear Scott, Yesterday morning I opened the blinds before our son woke up and the downtown of Dayton, Ohio was covered with fog. However, the moon was full and hanging high above the shroud. I looked and said something to you, like I used to. I saw you. I said, hey, you. I wish you … [Read more…]

Here We Go.

I have officially switched to hospital mode. I am unstoppable. Mostly. Periodically. Unless Ashton is barfing and I am retching next to him and Beeper is BACK in full swing .( I can generally tolerate a child’s puking). I don’t know why, but I almost lost it this morning. It was due to a more aggressive … [Read more…]


We had two firemen come here today. One was the driver to his ER visit. These two awesome guys drove quite some distance, being unfamiliar with BUILD-A-BEAR locations. They showed up while Ashton was having  “no pants Wednesday”. They came with Smokey the Bear, stuffed by two dudes. He was wearing a fireman costume/cape/superhero shirt. … [Read more…]