I have maintained a strong sense that a reliance on Science will see us through this. ( Science even rhymes with reliance) Who can argue with THAT? I have flirted with both religion and spirituality in the last decade. Yes, I believe them to be different. Then, I found myself in a situation where religion … [Read more…]


I feel I have been remiss in responding to comments on this blog. To be honest, I just figured out there was an entire page of comments I have never read. I know, for certain, I have been negligent when it comes to thanking people for donations. I remember my manners almost, usually, kind of … [Read more…]

On The Rise

I’ve had a two night break. This morning I woke to very good news. Ashton’s neutrophil count is 40! I am very hopeful we will leave here Friday. I reminded the doctor of our homecoming Fire Fighter deal on Saturday and I believe they will really push him to get out. If it were not … [Read more…]

The Wrong Batch

Platelets are funky. The last two times have been scary in that Ashton’s body does not necessarily want foreign platelets. He needs them. However, he has had an allergic reaction(x2) and that’s scary. Doc says it may just be the batch. He was shaking, nurse was shaky, I was shaky. Ryan came and distracted him … [Read more…]

Waiting For Neutrophils

These damned Monocytes are very fickle. Up and down, up and down, like teenagers. Or, like Ashton. Hell, like ME. If all goes well, we will be sprung by day 33 this time. However, this room confinement is enough to make a grown man cry on Round Two. I already dread Round Three and God … [Read more…]

Looking Forward

After having a very beautiful ceremony with my daughter in Winnetka and spending some funny, funny times with both my older children (back-to-back Simpsons with B.), I am back in Dayton after pulling an all-nighter with my mother. We arrived around 3:15am in order to grab some sleep to be somewhat conscious for my appointment … [Read more…]

C’mon, baby.

Fever. Mouth Ulcers. Monocytes. Platelets. shaking. Which of these things are not like the other? Monocytes. I am no longer bothering with punctuation or sentence structure. I am asking my brother to structure this tired thing. mon·o·cyte /ˈmɒnəˌsaɪt/ Show Spelled [mon–uh-sahyt] noun /Cell Biology . This is a large, circulating white blood cell formed in … [Read more…]

Sleepy Skin

Pale. Circles under eyes. “My skin is sleepy”.  That’s basically both Ashton and me, but he’s the one with the terminal illness. I have Mom-of patient-disease. The medicine he was given is non-addictive and was not expected to have an effect but has clearly done so before the expected three day anticipation. I am not … [Read more…]

Swinging on The Mood Swing

Too bad mood swings don’t come in different colors throughout the day. Ashton’s would be so beautiful. Picture a fireworks display of colors and include the sound of the fireworks. Yesterday, I agreed to put him on a new medication to help him control his need to control. After all, what CAN he control right … [Read more…]

A Beeper Date

What a funny little day this was! It was Blue Dog’s birthday and this may get boring for some of you but in the animal world of stuff, this is very important. ( Now, I will get a comment about how boring this blog is. Get over it.) Blue dog turned three and Ashton and … [Read more…]