The results of not taking care of myself, extreme stress, etc:
Heartbreak. Depression. Lower back pain (from sleeping on the couch and no exercise), no eating,(from acid reflux), I need to go to the doctor. The “girl” doctor. I need to go to the dentist.
I need to put on pajamas and sleep in my bed. I have not done that in months! I need to wash my face. I need to clean the kitchen. I have fruit flies in there. Odd, because there isn’t any fruit.
I need to go grocery shopping.
I need to get the mail.
I need to pay the bills.
I need a team to help me. I need something certain. Everything changes every single day. If I was bad with transitions my entire life, I was pretending to roll with everything since March 30th, 2014. I am sucky at transitions. Especially ones that occur every ten minutes.
I thought we were going BACK to the FREAKING ER yesterday and I’m still not CERTAIN we won’t. I’m in so much pain, I don’t even know if we should go to Miami Valley for me or Children’s for him. He scraped his knee very badly and with low platelets and low immunity, a scrape or a cut SUCKS. I took him to the FD. They cleaned him up as he wouldn’t let me touch him and he has such reverence for firemen, I knew he would let them. Barely. It looks better today but I question everything. EVERYTHING.
WE should be in the hospital. I hate the hospital. However, it sure takes a load off the pressure of questioning every move you make. You just press the call button and someone backs you up.
That’s it! I need a call button. And a nurse will be here in 1.5 seconds. And the bills will be paid and the food will arrive and the medicine will arrive (which is on special order from our pharmacy because no one gets it that my five-year-old doesn’t swallow pills–liquid everything.)
This post is going to cause me to be taken away in a straightjacket. My friend calls it dysfunctional normalcy. I think he’s on spot. And he is NOT a shrink, he’s an Iron Worker. That’s another story.
Ok. UP and at’em, Erin! UP!