Forever Haunted

By a beeping pole.

I can have a nurse in here for four hours and the very microsecond she or he leaves the room, that damned thing starts beeping.

The Russion was in here yesterday, Demitri, the doctor…but they all have nicknames, trust me. I have never seen him smile or (GOD FORBID!) laugh. Both beepers started going off at once while he was trying to explain how an xray lags behind the actual health of the lungs, all in a very, very exaggerated accent. I couldn’t hear him so I just walked over in my socks, which I have been wearing for three days, and silenced the beeping. I turned and asked him to continue. He snickered behind his mask.

I’m like, what? I’m a nurse. Well, I’m not technically a nurse but I play one on TV. I am really not supposed to silence the alarms and I was told that in February. I do it anyway. I’ve said it before, what? Are they gonna kick me out? It starts beeping again in three minutes anyway and it keeps me from purchasing a firearm.

One thing I DON’T do is silence the narcotics beeping. THAT, my friends, can get you five years.

I will be hearing this beeping for many years.

Even when the beeping is long gone, I will be on a mountaintop in Peru and I will hear it. I will be swimming in a turquoise, sandy-bottomed sea and it will interrupt the sound of the waves.

I will undergo beep-therapy.

And when it is finally at bay, I will be an old, old woman (with awesome hair). And I will have my own damned beeping pole.

Just wanted to cheer ya’ll up this mornin’!