Independence Day

Independence Day   July 4th, 2014   He has seen fireworks before, of course. This night, he and I are alone at the West Milton fireworks display. The crowd is buzzing and rough around the edges. He’s not wearing his mask since we are outside and I want him to feel normal, not stand out … [Read more…]

Mother’s Day

What little gem would he have made for me at school? Maybe a pinch pot. He would have painted it red or blue. He would be my first grader.   He does say he goes to school in Heaven. I know this because last Mother’s Day he gave me flowers. That likely sounds delusional because … [Read more…]

62 Days

I don’t want to do this anymore without you.  I want back every second I was selfish. Every moment I did not spend with you. I think I am entering a new phase. Bargaining. Cause apparently I have been pretty angry lately. And it shows. I’m starting today to make deals. What do I have … [Read more…]

You Think I’m ANGRY?

You think I have PTSD? I don’t have time to have PTSD because I have been concerned with YOU.  I became homeless the day after my son’s Memorial. My family was down the block while I was with my significant other who is about to leave me and my best friend who will never leave … [Read more…]

Ok, So. Prepare To Be Depressed

But you did choose to log on. It is said, if you lose a parent you have a collection of memories to draw from. Assuming that parent lived in to old age, it is the natural course of things, even if it was tragic. They lived a long fulfilling life, I hope, I hope. For … [Read more…]


Poorly. This is the opposite of good. Plus, I am poor. It appears I am handling this poorly. This is because I show no emotion, even while reels of images storm through my head and the only thing to stop them is Netflix. I will always remember you, Netflix. You have been here for me for … [Read more…]


A little increment closer to getting life back in to MY life. Closer to being able to cry. I’m still very scattered. My belongings are in Ohio. Everything ASHTON is here with me. I have a bit of money in Kentucky from my deposit on the house being returned (coming here soon, I hope). I had … [Read more…]