I don’t want to do this anymore without you. I want back every second I was selfish. Every moment I did not spend with you.
I think I am entering a new phase.
Bargaining.
Cause apparently I have been pretty angry lately. And it shows.
I’m starting today to make deals. What do I have to do to get you back?
I feel like I can settle for nothing less than your return. I want to cut out my own heart it hurts so badly.
I have heard that you would want me to keep living and live a good life. Ashton.
I was remembering today how you would say, “oh MIMI! You are so BEAUTIFUL!”
I can’t. I am wanting to bargain. But I have nothing to bargain with. I’m empty-handed.
This is true hopelessness. True helplessness.