sign language versus paralytic

I don’t know which is worse. You may think the answer is obvious. The answer is that I should run headlong in to the night, screaming.  Wait, that’s likely not the answer. The answer is that I should start smoking and hanging out at the bus stop with all the other crazy mothers. No. I will … [Read more…]

It Can’t Hurt

NOVENA TO SAINT RAPHAEL THE ARCHANGEL (The Novena Prayer to Saint Raphael must be said for nine consecutive days.)   Glorious Archangel Saint Raphael, great prince of the heavenly court, you are illustrious for your gifts of wisdom and grace. You are a guide of those who journey by land or sea or air, consoler … [Read more…]

Turn The Page

Maybe some inspiration will come to me later. Right now, I am just feeling a little defeated and alone. Not overwhelmed. Not unable to cope. Just, like, wow. Another day of this and no end in sight. None. Now I will post something I read which resounded with me so CLEARLY, I needed to share … [Read more…]

Wake Me Up When We Get There

Two Years Ago, October. First Flight With Mom.   Last night was long. I really want to leave it at that, but there were just a couple of moments so beautiful. There was no sleeping going on. Lot’s of concern going on. Lot’s of pain going on. Now that he is again using a bedside … [Read more…]

The Secrets That You Keep

I have wondered many times over at Ashton’s strength. When he talks in his sleep, I wanna pull a Juliet Capulet. ( Get it?) He is not dead. When he hurts, I wish I were. He bitches aplenty while awake, make no mistake. <I almost just busted in to a MicOne-look-I’m a White-Rapper routine. *I … [Read more…]


It’s easily been a week since I have written.  don’t really know what to say anymore.

Baby Steps

L and B came Saturday night and we had such a nice dinner out in Hyde Park with Brian. I took them to the only restaurant I could think of: The Cock and Bull. So, naturally Blaise had to make comments about penises. (Penis’?) (Peni?) oh, nevermind. We all shared the BMT Suite and some … [Read more…]

*sigh* (I don’t know what else to call this)

This is a Cherokee symbol for strength and perseverance.   Ashton has had the BK virus for several weeks now. Liken it to a  really bad UTI. Hemorrhagic cystitis (literally peeing blood) It hurts. It is a common complication following high-dose chemotherapy and bone marrow transplantation. BK virus:  (BKV)  causes widespread infection in childhood and remains … [Read more…]

Ketamine Makeover

I don’t know how to say this. Wound care, not I! They buy 39 minutes with a knock out to re-dress him head to toe,including total sterilization. Four people plus me. Mummified Ash. Appropriate ointments on appropriate body parts, assessing and oohing and awing over this and that, peeling dead skin, glorifying new skin, wrapping … [Read more…]