An Open Letter

Dear Scott, Yesterday morning I opened the blinds before our son woke up and the downtown of Dayton, Ohio was covered with fog. However, the moon was full and hanging high above the shroud. I looked and said something to you, like I used to. I saw you. I said, hey, you. I wish you … [Read more…]

Here We Go.

I have officially switched to hospital mode. I am unstoppable. Mostly. Periodically. Unless Ashton is barfing and I am retching next to him and Beeper is BACK in full swing .( I can generally tolerate a child’s puking). I don’t know why, but I almost lost it this morning. It was due to a more aggressive … [Read more…]


We had two firemen come here today. One was the driver to his ER visit. These two awesome guys drove quite some distance, being unfamiliar with BUILD-A-BEAR locations. They showed up while Ashton was having  “no pants Wednesday”. They came with Smokey the Bear, stuffed by two dudes. He was wearing a fireman costume/cape/superhero shirt. … [Read more…]

The F Word

Here I am staring, at your perfection in my arms; so beautiful. The sky is getting bright, the stars are burnin’ out. Somebody slow it down. This is way too hard, because I know when the sun comes up I will leave. This is my last glance that will soon be memories. And when the daylight … [Read more…]

The Poplar Street Boys

For about ten days now (I really don’t count those anymore), a small band of probably-someday-wayward boys show up on the edge of my lawn. Initially, they just wanted to play with Ashton even though they could have no idea how old he was. They, these boys range from seven to 13 so they didn’t … [Read more…]

A Song From Childhood

The word Seminole is a corruption of cimarrón, a Spanish term for “runaway” or “wild one”. Who knew they originated from Florida?   Ever since the days of old, Men would search for wealth untold. They’d dig for silver and for gold, And leave the empty holes. And way down south in the Everglades, Where … [Read more…]

The Birds Of Doom

Back in the day. Back in the 505, when we were up all night doing what we shouldn’t be doing, we heard them. The sweet, darling chirps of birds we didn’t even care the names of. We just knew we had not slept and the sun was coming up. I have been up before the … [Read more…]

Up All Night: It’s Just Practice

I am very grateful that my big brother is such a great editor. We, my sister, brother and I, plan to create a book for Ashton out of this blog. I seem to be losing my punctuation skills. In my defense, I write this with little sleep. I have been awake most of this night. … [Read more…]


It seems like we just got home and now are packing to back to the hospital. There are a few things I despise and most have to do with clothing. (washing, drying, packing, ESPESCIALLY unpacking, buying, fitting, shopping for.) It is 245pm and I got word that Ashton has his bone marrow aspiration #2 tomorrow. … [Read more…]