Two Years Ago, October. First Flight With Mom.
Last night was long. I really want to leave it at that, but there were just a couple of moments so beautiful.
There was no sleeping going on. Lot’s of concern going on. Lot’s of pain going on.
Now that he is again using a bedside commode, with the aid of two people plus me to get him there, it is sort of like mandatory physical therapy. It forces him to move. It is hard for him to move. His legs buckle beneath him and I often get trapped under him on the floor waiting to get pee’d on. Once situated, he has to have a blanket around him because his fevers are OUT OF CONTROL so he sits on the potty being supported and blanketed over his head, all the while falling asleep sitting up. He drapes his arms over my shoulders. He says, I love you, Mom. It’s 2 something-something am.
A few minutes ago I came in from getting coffee across the hall. He says, can you sing a lullaby to me? Note, there is a nurse, a PCA and Pain team has arrived to change his meds. So, naturally I rocked out a lullaby. His favorite. I also sang it to Lily and Blaise:
Well, I love my Ashton, sweet and fair, he’s got the sky in his eyes, the sun in his hair
I rock him to sleep most every night, and sing a little song while I hold him tight
Sleep, my Ashton. Angels keep you from harm. And the Father above cradles you in his arms, safe and warm
Sleep, my Ashton, nestled in your Mama’s arms…sleep my Ashton, angels keep you from harm.
Well, I know that you’ll be sleeping soon, kissed by the golden stars and moon
If I had just one wish for you, may your every dream come true.