From A Hospital Bed.
How far can you go mentally, physically and emotionally without breaking down? How long can you go in isolation?
Some people love isolation. I love it, but only for a day or two. I would mime a gun to my head by hour 24. I would be talking to my toothbrush. I do that anyway, because I am atypical, but that’s not really where I was going with this.
Ashton, even though no one was worried about him until two days ago, damn it, seems to come up with this atypical stuff that “no one has ever seen before.” I am so NOT exaggerating. Infectious Disease can’t nail “it” down and now GI Specialists say they have never seen anything like they saw in his scope this morning. Great.
Still waiting for everything else to come through with results. The kid went through a lot this morning. He has not pulled at his NG tube, but he also has not really moved. His emesis is down since this morning at 6am and I am so grateful for that because I don’t yet understand how one vomits with a tube in their throat.
I don’t really have much profound to say. It’s more waiting.
I HAVE become politely THAT MOM. They wanted to give him his NG tube at 530 am with no anesthesia and how do you think that went over with me? YEEAH, let’s throw a little medieval torture on the kid just to top of everything. I would have barricaded the door and tied our sheets and blankets together to rappel out our window except that’s just crazy talk. The windows don’t open. I am finding my voice without being “crazy mom” and without nodding and smiling and believing everything they say is what’s best for him.
Want to somehow get back to a normal life someday.